A Priori
by ann no aku
Summary: The Doctor accuses Rose of something very uncouth.


**A Priori**

**ann no aku**

**Plot: **The Doctor accuses Rose of something very uncouth.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Doctor Who. It belongs to the BBC.

**Notes:** Takes place in Series II between the episodes _School Reunion_ and _Girl in the Fireplace_.

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"Rose," the Doctor began, looking disgusted, "did you swallow?"

"What?" she sputtered, nearly choking on the word.

He frowned and pinched the bridge of hi nose. "Swallow, Rose," he repeated, saying it as thought it were the most repulsive word. "Did you swallow?"

"N-No," she answered, turning a bright pink. Rose wiped her mouth on the back of her hand.

"You _did_," corrected the Doctor, staring at her quite intently from behind his glasses.

"No, I didn't-" Rose insisted, only to be interrupted by him.

"In all my years, I've never actually _seen_ anyone swallow! I've heard of people doing it, but," he shuddered. "Rose, it's repulsive. Do you have any idea what you're ingesting?" His hands had shot to his hair, ruffling it up as though some war were waging in his body.

"I know what it is, Doctor," she hissed, glaring at him now.

"It can't be healthy! Think about it, Rose-!"

"I'd rather not, thanks," interrupted Rose, holding up a hand to silence him.

"So you admit-?"

"No! I didn' swallow, alrigh'? I've _never_ swallowed!" Her voice had gone up to a dangerous level now, and the Doctor found himself cowering slightly towards the door.

Gulping, he pushed his glasses higher up on his nose. "I could just ask Mickey or," he paused, relishing in her brief look of confusion, "Jimmy Stone. I bet they would-"

"How do you even know about Jimmy Stone?!" she demanded, yelling even louder. Rose didn't think about her mother asleep in the next room.

"That's neither here nor there." The Doctor waved dismissively. "You know," he added, taking a large breath, "Sarah Jane never swallowed. Thought it was repulsive. Although, she had a roommate at university who-"

Rose's face burned a deep red with fury. "I don't care if she swallowed or not! I-I can' believe you an' Sarah Jane even-!"

"Just admit it, Rose. It's nothing to be . . .too ashamed of." He eyed her seriously as he polished his glasses (now specked with bits of spit) on his shirt. His gaze fell to her chin. "Oh, you still have some-"

She slapped away his hand and grabbed a tissue from atop the toilet. Annoyed, Rose wiped at the white that had dribbled down and threw it angrily into the bin

"I was just trying to help, Rose."

"I don' need your help," she mumbled, checking her appearance in the mirror to ensure she had gotten it all off.

A loud bang on the other side of the door causes them both to jump. "What're you two doin' in there?" came Jackie's voice. "Hurry up. Me an' Mickey are tryin' to sleep."

Much to Rose's horror, the Doctor yanked the door open and said to Jackie, "Did you know that Rose swallows?"

"What?" Mrs. Tyler asked, her voice dangerously low.

It suddenly occurred to Rose just how awkward their conversation was, and she burst out laughing. She covered her mouth, her laughter filling the room.

"Rose, stop," he chastised. "This is serious. The health concerns!"

"Damn right it is," Mrs. Tyler agreed.

"I'm glad that we can-" His words were silenced by a Tyler slap that had the Doctor slamming into the towel rack.

"How dare you! You're . . .an _alien_, an' old!"

"What?" He rubbed his stinging cheek, his eyes watery with pain.

"Mum," Rose managed to say through her giggles, nearly hyperventilating. "Mum, it's alrigh'."

"How can you say that, Rose? He told me that you . . .you . . . " She couldn't bring herself to complete the sentence.

"No, that's not what he meant!"

"He's probably diseased!"

"Oi!" he exclaimed, straightening up.

"And all . . .funny-"

"Mum, please don't finish that-"

". . .tasting." Jackie looked a mixture of sickened and intrigued.

"Wait, what?" the Doctor asked again, scratching his neck in confusion.

"You an' Rose-"

"_No_, Mum," Rose firmly said, forcing a straight face. "We didn'. We've never." She knew her mother wouldn't miss the slight disappointed look she wore.

"Oh," she sounded almost saddened by the thought. Her gaze fell to the sink and she let out another "Oh". After clearing her throat pointedly, Jackie turned to Rose. "Well, I see." Then she hastily left the bathroom, slamming the door in her wake.

"What?!" he sputtered for a third time, his mouth agape.

Rose let out another giggle, still very pink. "You told Mum I swallow. Which," she hastily added, "I don' swallow. Toothpaste, that is." She had no idea what made her feel the need to clarify what she did and didn't swallow.

His eyes searched her face, desperate to find some answers there. "Well, what else could I--oh." The Doctor's puzzled expression instantly turned to realization, his mouth frozen in the shape of an 'o'. He tugged nervously on his hair.

"Yeah," she grinned, her tongue poking out between her teeth. "Good thing you left your toothbrush in the sink, yeah?"

He nodded feverently, still at an apparent loss for words. After several large, audible gulps, he managed to find his voice. "So," he squeaked, "You do swallow?"

"'Scuse me?"

"No, it's just that you said you don't swallow toothpaste, so I thought . . ." His voice trailed off, and he couldn't say anymore. Yet his brown eyes bore into her.

A very controlled smirk played upon her lips. Rose crossed her arms over her chest. "What's it to you, then, Doctor?" She strode out the bathroom, feeling smug, leaving the Doctor to wonder about his companion.

"Yes," he said once she had gone, still in the same position as when she had left. "What does it matter?" The Doctor swallowed hard and stared at the drain as the white foam from their toothpaste dripped inside.

*********


End file.
